Episode 63: Botanical Bafflement & Tyrannical Treats- Watermelon
Hello and welcome back to another week of Rooted! This week we’re celebrating Summerween- a holiday coined in Gravity falls, and one that helps to bridge what I feel is the unbearable long gap between spring and spooky season.
Summerween isnt actually until the 22nd, So we’ll do a little something then, but for today we’ll be digging in to the plant that plays an important part in the holiday- Watermelon.
In the show, watermelons are carved, because of course pumpkins aren’t really in season yet, so if you’d like to join us for that be sure to pick up a watermelon between now and the 22nd!
Without further ado, let's learn about one of the sweetest treats of the summer.
Watermelon, or Citrullus lanatus, is a variety of melon native to north east africa, that has since been cultivated across the world in temperate climates, most specifically in asia, with china producing up to 80% of the world’s watermelon.
Watermelon is a member of the Cucurbitaceae or gourd family, with famous family members like squash, cucumber, bitter melon, and luffa.
Watermelons are annual vines that can climb or crawl on the ground with large, toothy leaves and prickly stems. They produce a large, deep green fruit, known as a pepo- which basically means its a berry with no seams, and internal seeds.
The most iconic cultivars are those with sweet, red flesh and bright white rinds that are all wrapped up in a deep green protective skin. And while that’s probably what we all picture, that’s certainly not what all of them are like! Some are orange or yellow, some are seedless, with over 1000 varieties, the possibilities are endless.
But watermelons have been one of our longest “works in progress”. We as humans have been cultivating them for literally thousands of years, and when I tell you it’s a crazy glow up??
Watermelons are believed to have actually started out as Kordofan melon, which was way smaller, really bitter, and also couldn't be eaten without being cooked.
How we got from point a to point b is kind a a twisty tale, but basically we know they started that way, and then people in what is now sudan were like “man these things keep a long time and have a lot of water- that sure is handy for these long dry spells”
So THEY were smart and decided to start growing them, and over time eventually they got a little better and a little sweeter until eventually we know a version We ASSUME was edible and at least sort of sweet made it’s way over to egypt- and we know this because of artifacts we found where what looks like watermelon is found on a table with grapes and other fruits they would have eaten raw, plus we found a bunch of seed there..
Over time they eventually keep spreading, getting sweeter all the while, until europeans get to africa, where they decide watermelon would be a pretty cool thing to grow in america, and then proceed to kidnap a bunch of people and force them to grow it there- not cool.
What IS cool though is that once those people’s ancestors were granted freedom, they grew watermelon as a sort of “fuck you” and as a way to have some form of connection to a history and culture that was taken from them by force.
It is because of this that watermelon became a symbol of freedom and of the movement to abolish slavery here in the US. It was also then weaponized and used as a harmful stereotype because well, white fragility..
In more recent times, the watermelon has, of course, become a symbol used in solidarity with palestine. This started because from 1967-1993 israel had banned the palestinian flag from being flown in gaza, but they DIDN’T ban using images of locally grown watermelon that just so happened to be the same colors..and well, the rest is modern history.
Getting back to the plant content, let’s talk tall tales for a second.
The first story I found to share with you is actually from uzbek, and it tells of a poor young famer, who, while walking home from an exceptionally long day tending the fields, stumbles upon a stork with a broken leg. Taking pity on the creature, then man takes it home and nurses it back to health- sharing his very limited resources with the bird to help it heal. After making a full recovery, the man sets the stork free, and continues to work tirelessly in the field.
Grateful for the man’s help, one day the stork dropped 3 watermelon seeds in the field. The man noticed that the stork had dropped the seeds, and wanting to convey his thanks, continued to tend to the field, allowing the melons to grow large and round. When it came time to harvest, he invited all of his friends and family to share in his good fortune, enjoying the feast the Stork had so kindly provided. However, when he tried to cut open the first melon, he found his knife couldn’t pierce the skin. So, he tried the second, and the third, with absolutely no luck. Finally, not wanting his guests to get hangy, he threw the melon to the ground, hoping the impact would split it. Upon hitting the ground, the man found that instead of fruit, the watermelon was filled with gold coins.
The man shared these gifts with his family and friends, and quickly became one of the most wealthy and respected men in the village. Upon learning of this, the rich farmer he used to work for asked how he grew the melons. The man responded that they were a gift of thanks from the stork. The rich farmer set to work- prowling the land for the stork. Upon seeing him, He threw a stick at the stork’s leg, breaking it as he tried to fly away.
The man quickly scooped up the stork, nursed him back to health, and waited for the stork to thank him. Like clockwork, the stork dropped two seeds into the field. The farmer tended them all season long, and when the time came to harvest, he locked himself away- ensuring he wouldnt have to share any of the riches for himself. However, when he broke the melons open, he didn’t find gold inside, but instead hornets- hundreds of pissed off hornets who stung him to death… new gardening nightmare unlocked for sure, but I guess that’s what you get for being an asshole.
IN vietnam there is an old folk legend about how watermelons made their way to the country. According to legend, there was once a storm so bad that it threated to take out the entire country- it ripped tiles off buildings, toppiled trees, and capsized every ship at sea. Out of the wreckage, a small baby washed ashore. He was wrapped in a swaddle that suggested he came from a wealthy family, so the fisherman’s wife who stumbled upon him took him to the castel, knowing they could help, and hoping to be rewarded for her good deed.
Upon laying eyes on the baby, the king decided he would raise him as his own son. The boy grew up with the best of everything, but through it all remained humble, trustworthy, and kind. On his 20th birthday, the king arranged for him to marry his daughter- she was beautiful, sweet, and he had loved her his whole life, so the boy agreed.
Upon seeing his lavish wedding, the boy’s brother- the king’s biological son, was enraged. Why should a random beach baby have so much, when all he did was wash ashore. Tired of living in his brother’s shadow, he started spreading malicious lies- tales of a planned coup, corruption, and even a scheme to murder the princess.
Upon heaing the hubub, the king felt he had no choice but to send the boy- when I guess now man- away. So, he shipped his once favorite son off to sea, sending his only daughter with him, as she refused to leave her husband’s side.
THe couple sailed for days, finally landing on a small island, where they basically lived out Robinson Crusoe for years and years. They had almost nothing, but they had eachother, food in their bellies, and a place to sleep, so they were happy.
One day, the man saw crows fighting over a bunch of black seeds. He scooped up a handful, and sprikled them on his garden when he got home, hoping they would grow into something that would make his wife happy…if he wanted to HE WOULD ladies.
Anyway, eventually the seeds grow long wonky stems, and huge sweet fruits. Watermelons, obviously. His wife was so happy, but also a little sad- they had so much, but she missed her family and having more people to share her happiness with. So, the man wrote their names on the watermelon and pushed ir out to sea, hoping it would find another family who needed a spark of happiness.
In a twist of fate, the melon made it’s way to the king’s fishing boat. Upon seeing the names, he had the melon reeled in, and and with a bit of skepticism, he ate the fruit. It was so tasty that the king immediately realized he had made a mistake in sending the couple away, and within a few weeks they were reunited at the castle.
Circling back to summerween, our last tale comes from the balkans, and is a perfect segue into spooky season.
I really need you all to set the stage with me….It’s dark, the moon is full and bright. It’s late summer, but somehow it’s eerily foggy… you hear the chittering of bats, the croaking of toads, and the ominous creaking of trees. You see a huge, long abandoned castle in the distance- you’re walking quickly towards it, noticing a light on in the window, and taking it as a sure sign from the universe that it’s to be a place of refuge for you, since you’re pretty sure that rain won’t hold off much longer... All that’s left is to cross a field. And that’s when it hits you- insert old-timey vampire music and thunder sounds- you’ve walked right into their trap.
You hear them, ominously rolling towards you, literally going bump in the night since they can't see or hear, have no mouths, and honestly a terrible sense of direction… but alas, they have you surrounded… They are vampiric watermelons- left too long on the vine, they’ve developed a taste for blood, and now they’re out for yours.
If you had seen them in the daylight, you might have known- their skin covered in red veins, muddled and kind of freaky looking…
Now that they’ve found you, they’ll never leave your side- at least not until you boil them in a bathtub, scrub them with a broom, and throw them away, burning your broom to prevent them from spreading…
SEE? Perfect for summerween, just like I told you!
Of course, I think we are all aware of the numerous ways you can eat watermelon, with all parts of the fruit being edible, and high in water content to keep us hydrated and happy all summer long.
I wont bore you with the details, but if you want to learn more, watermelon.org- a nonprofit based out of orlando florida has you covered.
That’s all I’ve got for you today, but we’ll be continuing the summerween fun all over on our socials- That’s instagram, tiktok, and Youtube at Rooted.pod, plus on our other channel I don’t show enough love to- mocktails and mixtapes.
If you want to see us making mocktails, getting crafty, or making terrible twilight memes, pop on over there. If not, I’ll be back next week with more tall tales and true facts to dig into- see you there.
Sources:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Watermelon
https://www.lesvampires.org/mirrorsportal/VWatermelons.html
https://gravityfalls.fandom.com/wiki/Summerween
https://depts.washington.edu/llc/olr/uzbek/UZB_001/html/translations/The_Gold_watermelon.htm
https://www.storynory.com/the-watermelon-prince/
https://www.watermelon.org/watermelon-101/use-the-whole-watermelon/
https://www.pnas.org/doi/full/10.1073/pnas.2101486118
https://www.sci.news/genetics/kordofan-melon-genome-09692.html#google_vignette
